Sorry I Peed on You: by Jeremy Greenberg

Author:Jeremy Greenberg
Language: eng
Format: mobi
Tags: Humor, Parenting & Relationships, Satire, United States, Parenting, Humor & Entertainment, Parenting & Families, Literature & Fiction
ISBN: 9781449406486
Publisher: Andrews McMeel Publishing LLC
Published: 2011-03-22T04:00:00+00:00

Dear Mommy,

I am so excited that you’re taking me to play in the yard! I will try to stay out of the garden and will be respectful of which balls belong to the dog and which are mine. I also have some great news! I no longer have to wear shoes while playing in the backyard. Yesterday, while you were out shopping, Daddy took me outside to play. He was about to put my jacket on but couldn’t find it, so he said, “It’s pretty warm out.” Then he asked, “Brooke, honey, where are your shoes?” He looked for about two seconds and then was like, “Forget it. It’s just grass.”

That’s why I’m wormy-squirming as you try to cram my feet into shoes. I just prefer to be barefoot—like Daddy lets me. Also, Daddy lets me eat while standing up in the kitchen. I like that, too. Next time Nana comes over, can we all eat standing in the kitchen?

Love,

Brooke

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